For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
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By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm getting married
To pizza
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Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize