you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
