i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
