That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
