My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
