should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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