As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
