Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
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I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
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Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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