Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
