the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
