just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize