Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
