She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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