omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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