i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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