jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
