the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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