I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
