I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
