I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
