Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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