dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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