How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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