Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
