Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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