Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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