He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
