i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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