just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize