do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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