Welp...herpes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
