I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i love accidental penises.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
