you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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