Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
