We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
