Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
