just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
