i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
