I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
