We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
