Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
