yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
