Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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