i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
