I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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