she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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