Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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