I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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