You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I wear drunk well.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
