nut hugger
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Randomize
