Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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