that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
