my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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