in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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