Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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