did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
