a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
