I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
then he tried to convert me to islam
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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