I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
