Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
