You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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