He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just found a bag of teeth...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Your penis caused this!
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