Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
cat food counts as protein by the way
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
