Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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