Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
